UNT

Today's post is somewhat difficult for me, because it's not exactly what I was expecting, or wanting, but regardless of my feelings, the results are in. Today I received my final rejection letter, yes, from the University of North Texas.

Now, I know I'm aloud to be human and have sad feelings because I was rejected at 3 out of 3 schools I auditioned at. But, at the same time, I also want to be consistent with what a said on my blog page a day or two ago. I said that regardless of whether I was accepted, I was going to be thankful that God was with me and that I played so well at this last audition. I gave it my all and that's all anyone can expect from me.

Aside from the obvious, that I won't be moving to Texas, there is a lot of good in this news. For one, I will be able to stay near family and friends who are very important in my life, and who I would have missed greatly had I moved. Secondly, it means Duff St. United Methodist Church gets to keep me as their pianist for a few more years (at least). Thirdly, it means I get to continue studying with my piano teacher who has been an inspiration to me for the past 4 years and who I know will continue to be a major source of inspiration to me for the next 3 or 4 years.

I think the hardest part to accept in all this is that I thought I felt God's leading to audition at these schools. However, just because I didn't get in, doesn't mean I was wrong. It just means there was something He wanted me to learn and get out of all this.

I think that getting rejected is one of the best ways to build character. I have been told time and time again that in life, and especially in a musician's life, many rejections will come my way. I cannot let them stop and discourage me. Instead, I have to use the experiences to point to God and remind myself that He has given me the gifts, and He will guide me in the way He needs them to be used.

Almost 9 years ago, this June, will mark the time in my life when I moved to WV. Out of all the times I moved as a kid, WV was the least likely place in my mind, that I would end up in. In fact, I remember being DEVASTATED when my parents announced we would move here. I also remember a dear friend of my mom's from our church who was told by God, to tell my mother (before my father and mother had any clue he would get a job in WV) that God was going to send us to WV. That memory has stayed with me through the past 9 years because I felt so comforted by the knowledge that God was that intimately involved in our family and our lives. The longer I live here the more I see God blessing us. And for that reason, I am going to choose to be glad that He is keeping me here, at least for now, and choose not to dwell on the "should have, could have" beens.