Sunday, May 17, 2009

A New Season

Recently, while struggling with some big decisions, my piano teacher said something to me that was really funny, although so true at the same time! I was talking about making decisions (in regards to myself and someone else). He said (speaking in the 3rd person...as he LOVES to do in teasing his students :), "Yeah, why can't you just make your decision like me? Changing your mind isn't so hard! I do it all the time!" Then he made a comparison to my inability to stick with a decision to a smoker who says, "Have you tried to quit smoking? It's not that hard. I do it all the time!"

My teacher has put up with me for 5 years now. So, he knows me well!! That's 1/5 of my life that he's had to put up with my quirks, and I with his!

So, why am I telling you this? Well, because I have reached a point in my life where I'm TIRED of making decisions and changing my mind. I'm tired of looking behind me all the time, worrying if I've made the right decision or not. Today my pastor gave a really good sermon about worrying. He talked about how God doesn't want us to live that way and how we can turn our worrying into opportunities to pray over those things worrying us. Boy did this speak to me! I will make a decision, feel like a new woman, and at a moments notice, because of my worrying, I'll switch back!

Well, welcome to the NEW me! This girl has decided that God IS sovereign and that I need to stop worrying! He's guiding me wherever I go and, if for some reason I AM messing up, well, He loves me enough that He's going to fix it, some how:)

So, what kind of decisions have I made, lately? One, I got a new apartment this week! I'm moving in the 1st of August. I LOVE the place!! It's my first single apartment ever! I love the layout, the kitchen, the appliances, the location, having my own washer and dryer, the fact that I can have my grand piano there.....I LOVE IT..I LOVE IT...I LOVE IT!!!!! This was a very significant step in committing to my DMA program...to envisioning myself as the hard-working doctoral student I know I can be...as opposed to the wavering, tired, constantly driving, person :)

Secondly, I'm really focusing now on my playing! I got a gig this summer playing for a musical called, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum". This is my first time doing something like this. It works perfectly around my teaching and church schedule, as well as vacation and moving time. I'm also working on my solo program for the Fall, my Rachmaninov concerto for the chamber recital, a 4-hand piano recital, and continuing learning organ and also my church music and preparing for piano camp coming up. So, I'm focusing on music! And I'm LOVING it!!! It's amazing how much energy one can put into something when they set their mind to accomplish something and stop WORRYING about everything else!!!

Ok, so a visual representation of my new commitment to being a worry-less, more committed individual. I got bangs! I haven't had bangs in over 10 years and I've really been wanting them! I also had partial blond highlights put in. I really like my new look! See, decisiveness can lead to more fun too!!!

So, here's a pic. of my bangs. My hair looked much better when I had it straightened. But, if you have curly hair you know that it's much more time-consuming than what it's worth, unless you're getting dressed up to go somewhere special (and the only place special I'm going this week is to my living room to practice :) Anyways, here's a pic, in case you care :) And yes, I know it's not one of my better pictures :) It was more like one of those, "ok, we're taking a picture of my bangs....smile!" pictures :) I look tired I think. Anyways, whatever! I'll have new pictures soon enough.


I guess that's it for now. I've been up late several nights in a row now and my body is screaming for sleep! Today I finished mowing the lawn (I spent 1 hour, 15 minutes mowing Friday night and took another 45 min. to finish today). Then I walked the dog 1 mile. Came home. Ran 2 miles (walked/jogged/ran). The first mile I did in 15 minutes and the second in 13 minutes. Then I walked another mile. Came home. Stretched and did some floor weights. Then sat and had a snack. Took a shower. Realized I am REALLY REALLY sore! And now I'm going to crash :)

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